Tenure

Since childhood, I have been an over-achiver. I blame it on being the child of immigrants, the baby of the family with two extremely high achieving older siblings, and a double Virgo. Put a challenge in front of me, especially academically, and I want to smash it, go above and beyond, kill the game. Each victory felt like I was doing my people proud and thus worthy of praise, love, etc.

Now, here I am, 3 degrees in and finishing the last few steps to become an associate professor. It feels good to be here, another major challenge accomplished (almost). But, this time, I am proudest of my evolution. I have changed so much in these 5.5 years. I have found my voice, my power, my gift. I love teaching and learning about Black history more than I ever knew I could, and I have made some deep connections with folks. I have produced the first draft of my first book and been invited to speak at places I’ve never imagined. I have been challenged, rageful, inspired, and more me than I have ever been in my entire life. This has been the true gift of the tenure process.

So whatever happens with this decision after my interview this week., I still know I killed the game, and this time, it was for me.